I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
