It was confusing and full of hummus
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
