My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
