i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A+ Viking dick
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
