i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
vagina is talking i cant
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
