I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
All I want is dick and wine.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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