Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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