idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
