that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
