I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The struggles of a small town man whore
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
