I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
