Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
