Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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