I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
