she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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