i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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