so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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