I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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