Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize