i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
