are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
