And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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