we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
