like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
