my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
