And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
