I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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