One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
