Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
