Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
