did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
