You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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