you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
