We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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