Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
