Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
