$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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