I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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