It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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