It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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