she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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