i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
