Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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