Whatcha textin bout Willis?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
