I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
