We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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