He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
