I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hippo gnu deer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
