so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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