I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
