apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
