I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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