you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
